Tuesday, November 17, 2009
homework 24
once apon a time there was an 11th grader name shaquiqua johnson. she thought she was the coolest person in her grade. it was about two weeks into school and she tried to become more popular. so she started to socialize more and became more outgoing. next thing she knows she going out with someone in one of her classes. everything was going good for her. the relationship was going great and she had made a lot of friends and became cool with people. but the whole becoming cool amd fitting in started to interfear with her education. her grades started slipping in some of her classes. before she knew it, she was failing some of her classes and she started to get overwhelmed. she started to get stressed out and getting mad at people and always being grumpy. her mood went down as she would slowly walk through the hallways with her head down and a lil frown on her face. she wasnt always jolly and playful. instead of coming to school with a dont really care that much additude and only going just to hang out with her friends, she decided to change her act. she would now go to all of her classes and paid more attenton. she would raise her hand and do all the class work and participated a lot. she would do the homework and started talkin to the guidence counsler to talk about college. her mom noticed that she has changed and became very proud. now shaquiqua knows that being cool isnt just having a lot of friends but also doing good in school and having a good life.
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Honey bunch, sugar plum, pumpyumpyunkin...
ReplyDeleteI like how you start with a fake representation (according to me) of cool and then continue on to an actually cool person (again according to me). Your story enlightens me (= D). I think that this should be how everyone is in real life because well rounded people are better than ones who think they're "cool".
That was a good story
ReplyDeleteI like how you used the technique of describing the setting in order to portray your message.
The character seems to be fake to herself during the beginning to get attention, but, towards the end, she realizes it isn't worth it, and decides to drop the act
wow you took a whole other turn with your story, being cool wasnt good because she tried to do too much so she started failing. i think that was a good idea because you give a good example of how being cool can also mess you up academically.
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was cool and showed the smart side of being cool.
ReplyDeletedear Jessica, i really liked your story because your character was cool but then she realized that their are more important thiings then being cool. Good Job.
ReplyDeleteDear Jessica,
ReplyDeleteYour story had a great message! I like how it wasn’t just all about being cool, it was about living life in moderation. Shaquiqua wanted to be popular, but she started doing it through skipping school. But once she gets into academic problems, she realizes that she doesn't need to skip school to be "cool" and that grades are more important then popularity. In the end, she finds a way to balance the two and be cool and get good grades. I would have liked to see some dialogue in it but other wise this was a good story!